Thu 24
1:12
nocntnowAbout to text your ex?
Open this first. Pick what you want to do, and get through the next few minutes here.
nocnt counts the days since you last contacted your ex.
When you want to text them, open nocnt first. See how long it’s been, keep the reasons you chose to stop, and get through the urge without sending a message.
- Your count on the Home Screen and Lock Screen.
- Widgets show your day and how close the next milestone is.
- Looked at their profile? Log it.
- It won’t reset your count.
- Slipped? Start again at Day 1.
- Your earlier days stay in History. They weren’t wasted.
- Help for the moment itself.
- Write it and burn it, breathe, pop bubble wrap, or smash a few dishes.
- Reminders only on milestone days.
- 3, 7, 14, 30, 60, 90, 180 and 365. Nothing else.
- It stays out of your accounts.
- nocnt never touches your accounts, photos, or chats.
What the first months are often like
Based on commonly reported experiences. Not medical advice.
Days 1–3
The first few days are often the hardest.
The pull to text is usually strongest now. One urge often passes in a few minutes, but these first days are still hard: your phone is always in reach, and not much else is filling the gap yet.
What usually helps: Mute their posts or move the chat out of sight. Anything that makes you stop for a second before messaging them helps.
Days 4–14
Days get easier. Evenings are still hard.
You start getting through more of the day without thinking about them. Evenings are harder: there’s less to do, and you’re carrying a whole day of things you wanted to tell them.
What usually helps: Write down your reasons while your head is clear. Read them again when you’re tempted to reach out.
Days 15–30
It hurts less. That’s when doubt creeps in.
A thought shows up: it wasn’t that bad. Memory softens the worst parts first. This is often when reaching out starts to feel harmless. Not in a crisis, but on an ordinary evening, when one message doesn’t seem like it would change anything.
What usually helps: Reread what you wrote at the start. You saw your reasons more clearly then.
Days 31–90
They’re no longer your first thought.
Something happens, and you notice you didn’t reach for your phone to tell them. The memories stay, but they don’t hit as hard. A bad day or two here doesn’t mean you’re going backward.
What usually helps: If their photos or your old chat still pull you back, put them out of sight for a while.
Day 91 onward
No contact starts to feel normal.
After a few months, you think about contacting them less and less. Your days keep counting whether you open the app every day or hardly ever.
What usually helps: Use the app when it helps. It’s fine to forget about it for a while.
Something to do instead
Write it, then burn itSay everything you want to send them, then watch it burn. Nothing is sent or saved.
Pop bubble wrapFor when you want to check their profile. Pop a sheet first, then decide.
Breathe for two minutesSlow, even breaths: in for five seconds, out for five.
Ride it out for 10 minutesDon’t act on it for ten minutes. A timer and a few prompts help.
Guides
- The no contact rule: what it is, and how long to keep itWhat going no contact after a breakup means, what counts as contact, how long to keep it up, and what research does and doesn’t say about it.
- No contact, day by day: what the first months are often likeWhat the first days, weeks and months of no contact are often like, and what usually helps at each stage. Based on common experience and research.
- What to do when you want to text your exThe message is half written and it’s late. How to get through the next ten minutes without sending it, what actually helps, and what to do if you already sent it.
- Why you keep checking your ex’s profile, and how to stopLooking at their Instagram again? It’s common, and it tends to keep the hurt going. What research says, and the settings that make checking harder.
- Broke no contact? What to do nowYou texted them, called, or saw them. What to do in the next hour, what it does and doesn’t mean, and how to start again without shame.